PR's Expat Tri-Nations XVs

What if, somehow, you could put together three teams of the southern hemisphere's top exports? We tried and here are the results.

It's been a favourite topic of discussion around pubs, barbies and braais for years: What if, somehow, you could put together three teams of the southern hemisphere's top exports?

Well, we're suckers for punishment here at Planet Rugby, so in the latest edition in our series of 'Best of' teams (the dust is yet to settle from the uproar created by the 'Team of the Tri-Nations' and the 'Greatest of the pro era') we've decided to take a trip to Tri-Nations LaLaLand and give you our picks for Australia, New Zealand and South Africa – made up exclusively of players plying their trade overseas.

Admittedly, the majority of these choices were far easier to make than those of the fantasy teams mentioned above (though it was pretty hard to get some of the PR staff talking to each other again after the handbag fight resulting from the editor's final choices for the Greatest pros team.)

Right, down to business. What started off as a relatively simply task of slotting in those who pick themselves – i.e. Jean de Villiers – we soon faced the selection headache that comes with picking any team: Who do you leave out?

As is the case back in the Republic, the number of quality South African loose forwards receiving pay cheques in pounds or Euros boggles the mind. It was awfully tough to choose between Saracens' Wikus van Heerden and Brive's Gerhard Vosloo, who has been one of the best players in the Top 14 for a couple of years now.

A few interesting patterns emerged too. There's no shortage of quality fly-halves from the South to choice from. A quick look at the list of players who didn't make the cut – Derick Hougaard, Andrew Merhtens, Jimmy Gopperth and Stephen Larkham – and you see what we mean!

While you'd be hard-pressed to find a European team that doesn't have one, or in some cases a couple of South African front rowers on their books, finding fatties from Australia is near-impossible. While Rodzilla was an immediate selection at tighthead, we couldn't find a single quality hooker. (Jeremy Paul left Gloucester in 2007 and hasn't been heard from since.)

So, one by one here, these are our starting XVs and why we made the choices we did:

Expat South Africa: 15 Francois Steyn (Racing Métro), 14 Brent Russell (Clermont), 13 Marius Joubert (Clermont), 12 Jean de Villiers (Munster), 11 Philip Burger (Perpignan), 10 Butch James (Bath), 9 Neil de Kock (Saracens), 8 Shaun Sowerby (Toulouse), 7 Gerhard Vosloo (Brive), 6 Joe van Niekerk (Toulon), 5 Gerrie Britz (Perpignan), 4 Ross Skeate (Toulon), 3 CJ van der Linde (Leinster), 2 Schalk Brits (Saracens), 1 Daan Human (Toulouse).

The back-line wasn't very difficult to pick. Brad Barritt (Saracens) would have given Marius Joubert a run for his money at outside centre, but since he's played for England Saxons, he can't be considered. Brent Russell isn't a specialist wing, but we had to find a place for him somewhere – the story of his career! Perpignan's favourite big-mouth Philip Burger is normally a full-back, but makes a decent wing.

Scrum-half was a tough one: Falie Oelschig and Micheal Classens have been doing very well at Stade Français and Bath respectively, but Neil de Kock has been a great leader at Sarries over the years.

Wikus van Heerden can feel a little unlucky not to make the cut, but Gerhard Vosloo has been on fire at Brive as has his team-mate Antonie Classens, who would also waltz into most other teams (even France coach Marc Lièvremont has an eye on him.)

Gary Botha made our choice at hooker easy when he left Harlequins to return to Pretoria. At tighthead it was a dead heat with BJ Botha (Ulster) losing a coin toss to CJ van der Linde.

Expat New Zealand: 15 Scott Hamilton (Leicester), 14 Doug Howlett (Munster), 13 Sonny Bill Williams (Toulon), 12 Lifeimi Mafi (Munster), 11 Rico Gear (Worcester Warriors), 10 Nick Evans (Harlequins), 9 Byron Kelleher (Toulouse), 8 Xavier Rush ( Cardiff), 7 Chris Masoe (Castres), 6 Jerry Collins (Ospreys), 5 Paul Tito (Cardiff), 4 Ross Filipo (Bayonne), 3 Carl Hayman (Newcastle Falcons), 2 Anton Oliver (Oxford), 1 Clarke Dermody (London Irish)

Plenty to choose from again. For us Byron Kelleher was a no-brainer at scrum-half. He played second fiddle to Justin Marshall for years, but he's head and shoulder above his old rival these days. We reckon Kelleher would be a shoe-in for the All Blacks number nine jersey if he was back in New Zealand.

Top 14-based Cameron McIntyre (Castres) and Shannon Paku (Mantauban) were options at full-back and centre respectively. In fact centre was a bit of a traffic jam and Aaron Mauger (Leicester) would be next in line.

The loose trio was probably the hardest to choose and Marty Holah (Ospreys) and Craig Newby (Leicester) missed out in a split vote at openside. More than one voice thought Jerry Collins is over the hill, but he's the only specialist blindside we considered. Nick Williams has been in barnstorming form for Munster, but his injury problems mean has to play second fiddle to Xavier Rush, who has become a legend at the Blues.

Hooker was a tough choice. In his day Anton Oliver was one of the best around, but can playing at university level compare to the France's first division, where Campbell Johnstone has done well at Biarritz? We reckon Oliver is classy enough. Joe Ward from Wasps played at age-group level for New Zealand, however, he played for England Saxons last year.

Expat Australia: 15 Chris Latham (Worcester Warriors), 14 Clinton Schifcofske (Ulster), 13 Mark Gasnier (Stade Français), 12 Ben Jacobs (Wasps), 11 Luke Rooney (Toulon), 10 Brock James (Clermont), 9 Matt Henjak (Toulon), 8 David Lyons (Scarlets), 7 Julian Salvi (Bath), 6 Fotu Auelua (Toulon), 5 Dan Vickerman (Cambridge University), 4 Hugh McMeniman (Kubota Spears), 3 Rodney Blake (Bayonne), 2 Your choice here (?), 1 AJ Whalley (Dax)

Stephen Larkham was classy number ten in his day, but playing in Japan cannot compare to what Brock James is doing in the Top 14, where he is the top points scorer and has been so season after season. Sam Norton-Knight (Cardiff) reckons he's a natural fly-half, but he's nowhere near challenging James.

George Gregan is still playing in Japan, but isn't far from pension age, so we reluctantly went for Matt Henjak.

Clinton Schifcofske has been great form at full-back for Ulster, but we couldn't possibly leave Chris Latham out of the side, so man with hardest name to spell in world rugby gets a berth on the wing.

On the other wing, we would have liked to pick Lote Tuqiri…but he need to find somewhere to play before we can consider him an expat.

Craig Gower (Bayonne) is Italian now, so we can't put him at centre where Mafileo Kefu (Toulon) was also a consideration.

We couldn't think a Aussie hooker worth mentioning – which is a pretty poor refection of the export value of Australian front rowers. Are we being