News from the Far Side
SA Rugby and would-be Springbok coach Pieter de Villiers are still in a dispute surrounding a clause in de Villiers' contract.
SA Rugby and would-be Springbok coach Pieter de Villiers are still in a dispute surrounding a clause in de Villiers' contract.
Reports from a source deep within the SA Rugby offices have revealed that PDV, as he is know to his co-workers, is refusing to sign his contract because he does not agreed with his monthly contribution to the 'tea and coffee fund'.
The amount of milk being budgeted for seems to be at the centre of the argument.
“How can they tell me how to drink my coffee?” de Villiers was overheard shouting in his office.
“If I want milk in my coffee that's my problem, and if I want it black, that's my problem too.”
In other contract news, controversial Bulls lock Bakkies Botha is in the news again, for all the wrong reasons, again, since he seems to have signed contracts he cannot honour, again.
A Japanese club, the Dust-Buster Nagasaki hoovers, as well as a South American team, the Bogota Bandits, claim to have contracts signed by the World Cup winner.
Bandits president José Bandwagono said in a press release that Botha had signed for six years and was expected in Bogota on April 1st or he would have to give up the banana plantation that was part of the deal.
Botha is currently in Australia and could not be reached for comment, but his coach is unlikely to be happy with the bad energy surrounding the second row kingpin.
Following the Bulls' shock defeat at the hands of the Reds, coach Frans Ludeke, who seems to be overcome with renewed spirituality, explained his team's tactics.
“Ag, it's all about balance. Last year we gafe vem such a klap we had to readjust our karma, ” he told the Weekend Loftus.
“We won vem by 89 punte last year so ve universe wanted us to re-equalibrate. Vey won us by 32, but we is very in touch wif our inner-Bull, so I are positif.”
In news from Paris, Stade Français coach Fabien Galthié is said to have been despondent even before the Parisian side's 50-12 drubbing away to Clermont.
Stade were missing their internationals and had so many injuries that Galthié was forced to draft a few new players into his squad.
“Jean Sweepeau iz ze kleanuhr of ze chaunge room in Paree, but 'iz vary good in ze rukz: 'e don't mind getting durty” said Galthié.
“Fabrice Conductore iz from Argentina, ez actually ze bous driver, but iz a vary good 'alf-back alzo. An 'e looks great in ze pink unifrom.”
In other news from France, national coach Marc Lievrèmont is said to be ecstatic with his team's performance against Wales last Saturday despite losing to the game, and the Six Nations in the process.
“Iz greate. All ze player make big smiles all ze game, wiz no stress. We har vary 'appy becauze iz mush more important to 'ave fun zan ze reesult,” he told the Paris daily Quinze Nuls .
“Zatz ze new etat d'esprit we want. All ze player now 'ave a good rest becauze we choose 35 new one for le tour chez les kangaroos.”
In other Six Nations news, Eddie O'Sullivan and Brian Ashton have decided to let bygones be bygones and write a book together. The book is said to be entitled “How to sign long-term contracts, pick your friends and not influence people.”
Meanwhile, Italy coach Nick Mallet is in the money. His post-match display of emotion in Rome on Saturday is reported to have earned him a long-term sponsorship deal with tissue manufacturers Kleenex.
“If we can get Nick to cry as much when Italy lose as when they win, we'll have a very powerful marketing tool in Italy, ” said a spokesman.
“We're also looking to sign Lee Byrne. The way he went down in the match against France showed real cry-baby potential. We hear that he's had numerous offers from Italian football clubs who've also spotted his talent.”
A source close to Byrne's stylish Welsh team-mate Gavin Henson has revealed the motives behind Henson's dangerous high tackle on Fulgence Ouedraogo.
“Ouedraogo has no fashion sense. He could at least try wear a blue scrum cap or dye his hair or something,” said the source.
“It just became to much for Gavin and he lashed out. You can't expect him to stare at a boring crewcut all night and not do anything about it.”