Loose Pass
This week we will be mostly concerning ourselves with the new world order…
Welcome to Loose Pass – our weekly assortment of disjointed thoughts. This week we will be mostly concerning ourselves with the new world order…
One heavy defeat to the All Blacks can be put down to a fluke. An aberration. Jet-lag. But not two.
Not two in two weeks. Not when the second loss was as emphatic as the first. Not when the victors run in as many tries in the soggy second outing as they did in the dry opener.
What the world witnessed in Wellington was more than just a statement of intent from the All Blacks – it was the birth of a new philosophy that will come to dominate world rugby for the foreseeable future.
The Boks bossed the world since 2007 [typo '1997' in first edition of this article – thanks to those who picked us up on it!] with a clever brand of kick-and-chase rugby. At its zenith (or nadir) it was actually more desirable to play without the ball than with it.
Wins were built on eking penalties from rolled mauls or isolated defenders who were unlucky enough to receive bomb and hulking Bok at the same time.
As a spectacle it was as ugly as a bucket of frogs, but it worked like a charm. Fruits of recent South African labours included a World Cup and three Super 14 titles in four years.
But the era of kicking your way to victory suddenly seems so 2009. Dan Carter went out of his way to prove this point by missing five of his first six kicks at goal at the Cake Tin on Saturday … and still he went on to celebrate a handsome 31-17 victory.
It's now all about possession, fitness, dexterity and keeping the ball away from the breakdown area. As a riposte to the subterranean dark arts, it borders on the genius.
Perhaps the Boks are suffering from a jet-lag of sorts. They seem wholly unable to wind their clocks forward to the current date. They look tired. Old, even.
Theirs is not an enviable position: just a year out from the defence of the Webb Ellis Trophy and all at sea.
More worryingly still, if the mighty Boks – and referees – can't keep up with the All Blacks, what chance the rest of the world?
Welcome to the dark ages.
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Yes, we suppose it was slightly odd to see New Zealand skipper Richie McCaw receive his “official warning” from referee Alain Rolland moments after receiving his “last warning”. But we're not sure we want to shake that particular hornets' nest.
If it is all the same to you, we'd rather have another wild tilt at the Tri-Nations' potty schedule.
South Africa and Australia are both forced to play three back-to-back games in the tournament – twice.
For their part, the All Blacks are now enjoying a week off after two outings. They'll then play their three away games on successive weekends before a fortnight's rest.
They'll then repair to Sydney and await the return of the Wallabies from their two-match visit to the Republic.
See? No hornets disturbed and no accusation of “favouritism” levelled. We're just flagging up some facts.
July 10: New Zealand v South Africa, Auckland
July 17: New Zealand v South Africa, Wellington
July 24: Australia v South Africa, Brisbane
July 31: Australia v New Zealand, Melbourne
August 7: New Zealand v Australia, Christchurch
August 21: South Africa v New Zealand, Johannesburg
August 28: South Africa v Australia, Pretoria
September 4: South Africa v Australia, Bloemfontein
September 11: Australia v New Zealand, Sydney
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And so the mystery of Gavin Henson's whereabouts is finally solved.
A week since he failed to pitch for pre-season training at the Ospreys, the former Wales star has revealed that he's holed up in ex's former home.
“I love that house. Yes, there are memories there, but they're great memories. My two kids were born there. I'll never leave,” he said of Charlotte Church's mansion.
If only he meant it.
Until someone has the good sense to board up the windows and doors, his sorry transformation from rugby's Next Big Thing to Wales's answer to Katie Price will continue to pollute our eyes.
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Speaking of shaved legs, it seems that Auckland University RFC is copping flak for inviting a gaggle of “semi-naked women” to liven up its annual pre-Test luncheon.
Even New Zealand Women's Affairs Minister, the splendidly named Pansy Wong, has stuck the boot in.
“The first impression I have is surprise, shock and disappointment,” she said.
But the event's guest of honour claims that it's all much ado about nothing.
The girls weren't even topless, according to Murray Mexted, they simply had their breasts painted in club colours.
“It was very tastefully done,” added the former New Zealand captain. Indeed.
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Quote of the Week
“I get nervous when I see these UK referees put the flags up so quickly.”
– New Zealand commentator Grant Nisbett reflects on a moment in the weekend's Tri-Nations encounter – a game officiated by two Irishmen and an Australian. Yep, if only rugby's officials could be as credible as its pundits…
Then again, he might not have been helped by his office interns, who identified the brogue-speaking Alain Rolland as French on-screen before the game…
Compiled by Andy Jackson