Loose Pass
This week we will be mostly concerning ourselves with elite players and weddings…
Welcome to Loose Pass – our weekly assortment of disjointed thoughts. This week we will be mostly concerning ourselves with elite players and weddings…
With world rugby taking its annual break – yes, one whole weekend! – we thought we'd bring you some predications for the forthcoming season in England.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin.
Steve Borthwick will not regain his form following the knee injury he sustained last season, even though he's back in full training.
Olly Barkley will be unable to match the heights of last season, despite not having sustaining any injuries whatsoever.
Despite suffering a catalogue of injuries, Mike Tindall still has one big season in him. Tom Rees does not.
Shontayne Hape, Matt Banahan and David Strettle will prove their Test calibre in the forthcoming season. Ugo Monye, Alex Goode and Andy Saull will not.
And the big Christmas lotto numbers will be 5, 12, 25, 26, 31 and 44.
We joke, of course. If we could predict lotto numbers, why would we be sitting here chatting to the like of you?
Our humble powers extend only as far as to bring you a precis of the composition of England's Elite Player Squad for the 2010/11 season, as recently announced by Martin Johnson.
Johnno's intuition in the middle of the line-out was a thing to behold, but how on earth is he able pick the star performers of the World Cup year before the first pre-season burpee has been performed?
In the big man's defence, he has confessed to not being entirely happy with the bizarre system of picking elite squads through the medium of clairvoyance.
In its time it has been blamed for England's lacklustre showings during the November internationals and the exile of snubbed players to foreign fields.
It also stands accused of snuffing out nascent ambition by exclusion, and also, perversely, of heaping excessive expectation on to barely-formed shoulders.
So why does the RFU persist with a system that has caused harm, embarrassment and not a few clumsy u-turns?
Why not simply pick squads just before the first Test of the season, thereby allowing both players and selectors to back up their respective arguments with a two months of competitive action?
Is the current set-up built on 'player power' and demands for contractual security?
That would be understandable to a degree, but why do other nations not offer such a perk so early in the season?
And surely allowing top performers a comfortable ride runs completely contrary to what the whole exercise is designed to achieve?
Rob Andrew, Director of Elite Rugby at the RFU since 2006, what say you?
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Some weeks ago we lament the overemphasis of physicality in European schoolboy rugby. We then linked it, crudely, to the lack of ball skills at the top end of the game.
Whilst copious evidence of the latter abounds, there's been scant proof of the damage wrought by the former.
But now Edinburgh University's grandly-named Centre for International Public Health Policy has published a study of injuries sustained by young devotees of the game.
The study included 470 players at five schools in Scotland during the second half of the 2008/09 season.
Of that lot, there were 37 injuries recorded, 26 during matches and 11 in training, including 20 which needed a trip to A&E.
The study found that the tackle was the “commonest phase of play causing injury”, with head and face the most injured body part, and sprain/ligament injury the most common injury.
“High tackles and scrums should be banned,” said Professor Allyson Pollock, one of the study's authors.
“We know that most injuries occur in tackles and the scrum so there have got to be much greater safety measures in these areas.
“It may change the game but it's better to have a safe game than a dangerous game.”
We've battling with an urge to get all 'nanny state' about these pronouncements.
First off, Professor Pollock's research neglected to take in that high tackles are, indeed, banned from all levels of the game. Furthermore, scrummaging laws at the lower age-group levels make high-fives look lethal.
But we stand by our call it free up schoolboy rugby. The technical nuances can be grafted on once dexterity and enjoyment have been fully absorbed.
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The Boks have been known to gear up for big games by stripping naked and crawling under barbed wire, but it seems the All Blacks have now taken the psyche-out to another level.
Check out this footage of Dan Carter and Neemia Tialata getting really crotchety in the build-up to the Tri-Nations…
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But the All Blacks have competition. How about this for a statement of intent from Ireland?
Brian O'Driscoll tied the knot with the lovely Amy Huberman at the weekend. It gifted the groom and his brothers in arms the chance to get jiggy to Take That's 'Rule the World' at the reception.
It was sung in Italian (by a soprano) but the message conveyed by the drunken dancers was stark: the forthcoming Rugby World Cup is Ireland's for the taking.
If that bet is a little too rich for your blood, how about a wee flutter on BOD and the fruit of his loins?
An Irish bookmaker is offering 100/1 odds on BOD's first son to play for Ireland and 150/1 for the lad to captain his country.
History teaches us that mentioning 'betting', 'Ireland' and 'Rugby World Cup' in the same breath is an exercise fraught with danger, so we apologies to anyone who might have taken offence … even if they were unable to attend the aforementioned nuptials due to a pressing family commitment.
Compiled by Andy Jackson