Loose Pass

This week we will be mostly concerning ourselves with Grand Slams, political spin and dead Popes…

Welcome to Loose Pass – our weekly assortment of musings, mutterings, tickled fancies and disjointed thoughts. This week we will be mostly concerning ourselves with Grand Slams, political spin and dead Popes…

Guinness, praised purveyors of the black stuff, were keen to associate St. Patrick's Day with the 250th anniversary of their famed stout, but it was another date that dominated festivities.

Yes, the newspapers were rife with it: '1948' fell into general conversation all over Ireland. It was whispered over every part of the dark central plain, and in every pub. Falling, too, at the bungalow door behind which lives 'that paragon of craft and guile, that damned elusive Jack Kyle'.

Elusive. That's the word for it.

It has been over 60 years since that glorious day when the legendary Kyle helped the men in green to their one and only Grand Slam, and Irishmen around the world can hardly breathe the date without growing faint with fear.

And Irishmen around the world will now hope and pray that the same fear does not cripple those who seek immortality in Cardiff on Saturday evening.

Alas, Ireland have some form in that department.

Four times since 1948 they have gone into the final match of the campaign with a repeat in their sights, only to have the door slammed in their faces.

It was Wales who snuffed out Irish hopes in 1951, albeit with a 3-3 draw.

In 1982 a side inspired to the Triple Crown by Ollie Campbell and Fergus Slattery went down 22-9 in Paris, while the superstitious will want to ignore the parallels from 40 years ago, when Wales dashed to a 24-11 win in Cardiff.

And who can forget 2003 and Martin Johnson's 'Mary McAleese' moment at Lansdowne Road? England's captain refused to shunt his team down the red carpet before helping to crush Ireland's dreams in devastating fashion. A Grand Slam was celebrated in Dublin that night, but it wasn't Ireland's.

But fear ye not, ye Irish folk of trembling knee. The parallels between this year's campaign and the 1948 vintage are encouraging.

Kyle, a fly-half who shared Brian O'Driscoll's talismanic qualities, helped Ireland complete the clean sweep after an impressive win against France, a defeat of England by a single point and victory in Scotland before a final showdown with Wales, which the Irish won 6-3.

But there the similarities end.

The amateur Irish team of 1948 could only dream of the sizeable salaries enjoyed by the fully paid-up professionals who will line up at Cardiff – and while more profitable to play, the sport has also become more expensive to watch.

It may pain some of the Irish faithful who will be parting with up to £70 at the Millennium Stadium for their ticket and match-day programme to know that they could have got in for 10 shillings in 1948 with a programme thrown in for an additional thruppence.

And whether the Guinness will be quaffed in celebration or to drown Irish sorrows at the weekend, it will cost punters an average of £2.58 per pint, where their predecessors could toast the success of 1948 with pints of the black stuff costing just over a shilling each.

One imagines, however, that if Ireland can turn back the clock on Saturday and repeat that fabled triumph of 61 years ago their fans are unlikely to let anything spoil the party.

———————————————————————————————————–

Rob Andrew. What is his role on earth? Heaven only knows. But tantalising evidence of some sort of formal function emerged in the shape of his recent and eminently passable impression of Alistair Campbell – the man who helped precipitate the war on Iraq and who sullied the British & Irish Lions tour of New Zealand in 2005.

Dismissing calls to reinstate Sir Clive Woodward, Andrew pointed out the Knighted One was only a bit-part player in England's conquest of the world back in 2003, ranking alongside the likes of the team's baggage handler and Iain Balshaw.

“We've got to let Martin [Johnson] get on and build a team in his own image,” Andrew told the Times.

“I think when you look back Martin was probably the one that was actually keeping Clive in check when he was captain of the side.

“I think he was the one that really put a lot of the stuff in place. People talk about Clive mentoring Martin, but sometimes during Clive's reign it was actually Martin mentoring Clive.”

Whilst it is undoubtedly true that Johnson and Woodward formed a formidable partnership, how was Andrew privy to the actual intricacies of their relationship? He hung up his England boots in 1997 and only returned to Twickenham in 2006, thereby missing “Clive's reign” in its entirety.

Still, it's nice to see the RFU's director of elite rugby doing something for his rumoured annual salary of £300,000 (plus bonuses).

———————————————————————————————————–

Having somehow survived last year's Six Nations Championship, Pope Benedict XVI will be forgiven for asking his boss for a personal favour this weekend.

Since 1883 eight Pontiffs have died – five of them in Grand Slam years.

The fatalities were Leo XIII, in 1903, when Scotland won; Pius X, in 1904, when England won; both Paul VI and John Paul I, in 1978, when Wales won; and John Paul II, in 2005, when Wales won again.

But Ireland's ascendancy and closer inspection of past results could soothe Papal fears – the damage appears to be done solely by predominantly Protestant nations. Spooky!

———————————————————————————————————–

You have to hand it to James Haskell. Like Lawrence Dallaglio, his former mentor at Wasps, he'll never admit to being beaten.

Dropped from the England side that thumped France and reduced to an onlooker as the man who usurped his jersey collected the man-of-the-match honours, Haskell had the perfect riposte when asked to reflect on Tom Croft's try-scoring performance.

“Yeah, Crofty had an excellent game,” he mumbled. “He'll make the best lock ever…”

———————————————————————————————————–

A well-read Scotland fan picked up Loose Pass for asserting that Brian O'Driscoll was the leading try-scorer in Six Nations history.

We defend our honour on a technical front – we were talking Six Nations only – but will happily concede that, indeed, a great Scot sits ahead of the Ireland captain in the all-time list of try-scorers from the Home/Five/Six Nations Championship.

Step forward Ian Smith, who scored an incredible 24 tries in 32 appearances for his country – all whilst on Home/