Lions diary, day eleven

The tour cavalcade has moved out of the concrete and glitz-glass shell that is Sandton City and down south to Bloemfontein.

The tour cavalcade has moved out, blessedly, delightedly, of the concrete and glitz-glass shell that is Sandton City and down south to Bloemfontein.

For some, it was a nice easy flight. Others took their leave by road early on Thursday morning. Your fearless, dashing reporter tried dutifully to beat the worst of the Johannesburg rush hour by leaving at about 15.30 local time. He failed abjectly.

Next year's soccer show here is ensuring that all sorts of local authorities get their acts together and sort out the infrastructure in South Africa, which can only be a good thing in the very long term. The stadia are looking mighty fine so far. The roads are still a catastrophic mess and there is no bus or rail service to speak of in any tones other than warning ones.

Even allowing for the surfeit of cars to road-space on Johannesburg's roads, the current squeeze caused by the attempt to stick an extra lane on either side of the arterial N1 motorway ensure it takes two hours to get from the middle of town to the outskirts.

That would be fine for the long term and for the soccer if it looked as though progress was being made, but there are quite conspicuous parts of the planned route that look yet to be dug up for laying barely one year before the tournament's start. Soccer fans be warned: the stadia will be lovely… if you ever get there.

Once out of town, and now heavily delayed, I was forced to drive much of the route in the dark. The absolute dark, for at even major road intersections out of towns, there are no lights bar the full-beam headlights of whatever deranged haulage truck is pursuing you as you strain to find a legible signpost.

Thus it was that two wrong turns and an unfortunate encounter with a rabbit later, I did indeed make it to Bloemfontein, where it is unnecessarily cold at nights, and got quite fabulously lost in a maze of dimly-lit streets before finding my hotel.

Honestly, aspects of travelling solo in this place can make you wonder if you are not trapped in some kind of Truman Show-type reality TV bubble, with a sadistic-minded operator fiddling the sets. But no doubt, I will be singing from another songsheet when I take in the daytime scenery on my way back on Sunday…

Graham Rowntree was in full banter mode this morning. Having had a good hard gloat with the rest of his team-mates over his superlative victory in the quiz night on Monday (have I mentioned I was on his team?), he was accused of having cheated his way to the spoils. His retort?

“I am a Leicester man I have never cheated in my life.”

It continued unabated. He was quizzed over the line-out capabilities of young Tom Croft, who had an excellent game against the Golden Lions on Wednesday.

“Crofty's an even better line-out jumper than Johnno… he actually jumps off the ground.”

Having heckled another reporter for the volume of his questions – “Are you deliberately speaking quietly?” – Rowntree finished off with one final assertion of his authority when asked about the state of Andrew Sheridan's blisters, of which so much mention has been made that they have surely superseded Stephen Ferris' bus-disembarkment calf strain incident for the bizarre injury of the tour.

“Sheridan is not going to miss a game with blisters, I won't let it happen,” said Rowntree. “I'll send him home if he misses a game with blisters.”

Not to be outdone, and enhancing his reputation as the tour's practical joker, Donncha O'Callahgan was on good form on Wednesday as well, walking up to people with a cup and saucer and throwing the cup forward as if spilled.

Naturally, you recoil in the expectation of a soaking of boiling hot coffee… and then are forced to laugh as O'Callaghan catches the empty cup on the teaspoon he has inserted through the cup handle. Quality!

Finally, the Lions mascot – sorry to say, dear reader who wrote in, it has already been afforded the moniker 'Lenny' – has been passed to Leigh Halfpenny, who did not bring it to the media briefing

“It's in my room – he came training earlier so he's a bit hot,” said Halfpenny.

“The boys have been joking around and hiding him, trying to get me fined.”

All good, normal stuff. Then Leigh was asked how he felt when he was given the Lion upon his arrival.

In true media-briefing cliche style (and with more than a shade of a smirk) he replied: “It's an honour to be looking after him…”

Journal kept by Richard Anderson