Classifieds from the Far Side
It's a little-known fact, but most of the world's top coaches do their shopping in the News from the Far Side's classifieds section.
It's a little-known fact amongst rugby fans, but most of the world's recruitment officers, Directors of Rugby and top coaches do their shopping in the News from the Far Side's classifieds section.
Missing wings, over-sized trophy cabinets, paramilitary babysitters, hair-gel addicts….there's a place for everyone and everything in the NFS classifieds!
Looking for a job? Do you have an item for sale/to trade? Send the NFS team an email.
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Wanted: Assistant corridor monitor
International rugby team seeks tough individual to keep an eye on errant players.
Successful candidate will report to team 'Integrity Manager'
Must be available to travel in November. Crime scene investigation skills an advantage. Former school teachers/military personnel welcome. Recovering alcoholics need not apply.
email Robbie: Disciplinequade@Itwaseasierinnz.au
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For sale: Trophy cabinet
Massive trophy cabinet for sale. Able to hold three huge cups and a plate. Was once full, but now looking a bit empty. Shipping to New Zealand can be arranged.
email John: 3N.freecup.Mplate.bill@saru.za.org
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Wanted: Personal assistant to rugby/showbiz Professional
Former/current/retired rugby professional seeks assistant to manage schedule/life.
Extensive experience in haircare products and tan-can technology essential. Knowledge of TV reality shows a plus. Don't really know where I'm going or what I'm going to do, but I need someone to sort stuff out.
email: gav.H@exospreys.wr.uk
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To swap: Talented winger
French club seeks to exchange precociously talented winger. Is lightning off the mark, brilliant step, great eye for a gap but has occasional travel/fast-food/marijuana issues.
We don't really care who we swap him for, as long as the new guy actually pitches for training and is willing to reside in country of employment once the season starts.
Contact Jean-Pierre: recruitment@RCAgen.fr
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Job offer: Afrikaans to English translator
Belfast club seeks interpreter to facilitate communication between coach and new players.
Contract renegotiating experience an advantage. An eye for a good Currie essential. Must not be afraid of cold weather or warm beer.
Former Saracens welcome.
Email Brain: whadahellaretheysaying@ulsterugga.ir
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Missing: Retirement villager
Former rugby player absent without leave from retirement village. Suffers from dementia. Answers to the name Billy whizz.
Last seen near Fylde.
If seen, call Mr Ashton : 0044 01 15 16 17
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Wanted: Big top manager
Top entertainment act seeks new manager/promoter. We already have a clown, a gnome called Gio and an assortment of exotic Spiesies (including Pierre, our star specimen, who is impressive but is nowhere to be seen on big occasions).
If you've got a plan to help us get our ducks in row, send your CV to Oregan@saffafun.co.za
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Wanted: Hairdresser
Make me look like Bonjovi
Contact James: J.O-Con@fullest-back.au
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For sale: Golf cart
Never raced, rallied or driven on the freeway.
Call Andrew: 0800 999 999
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For sale: Tracking device
Lost your winger? Preseason training about to start and can't find him? You need a “Caucau-locator.” Ideal for use in the South Pacific. Instruction manuals in French and English. +679 14 11 14 11 14