Planet Rugby

Gifts under Planet Rugby's tree

25th December 2012 06:54

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sexy christmas

No you shouldn't have! Merry Christmas everyone...

We took it upon ourselves to send Santa a note to get some gifts for the rugby personalities who hit the headlines in 2012.

Remember now, this is tongue in cheek, so don't take it too seriously. Merry Christmas!

Heyneke Meyer
- A shatterproof walkie talkie. The Springbok coach has smashed quite a few of these communication devices while trying to issue instructions to his troops in 2012.

Richie McCaw
- King Richie can do with a crown after achieving some significant milestones in 2012. There's even a debate raging in some quarters on whether he is the greatest rugby player ever. Enough said.

Israel Folau
- A DVD on the intricacies of the ruck and maul for the new Waratahs recruit. Folau will start his first season of professional rugby union in 2013 after making a name for himself in the NRL and AFL.

Pat Lambie
- A fake ID

Quade Cooper
- The Reds and Wallabies fly-half deserves some intestinal fortitude as he prepares for his first boxing fight in February.

Southern Kings
- A calculator will be of great help for the newest team in the Super Rugby competition. It seems that the Port Elizabeth-based outfit is going to need that because their officials have already signed four foreign players when the South African Rugby Union only allows two per squad. They could also use it as some of their opponents are set to notch some cricket scores against them.

Andrew Hore an Dean Greyling
- An all-expenses paid visit to anger-management classes for the All Blacks and Springboks front-rowers.

Bryan Habana
- Free French lessons as it appears that the Bok speedster is heading to Toulon at some stage in 2013.

IRB Player of the Year selection committee
- A pair of binoculars will be the ideal gift for this panel, to help them pick a shortlist of the game's best players!

Nick Mallett
- A job as a head coach as his rugby knowledge is currently going to waste as a television analyst.

Robbie Deans
- After a year where he hardly ever fielded his strongest XV, an injury-free Wallabies side for next year's series against the British and Irish Lions.

Chris Robshaw
- A DVD on decision-making in tense situations for the England skipper after his brain implosions against the Wallabies and Springboks.

The British and Irish Lions
- A DVD of the 1997 tour to South Africa, a reminder of the last time the Lions won a series could prove inspirational for the famous touring team.

Keven Mealamu
- An endless supply of over-the-counter sports cream to massage into his calf muscles which has been troubling him throughout 2012.

Nathan Sharpe
- An all expenses paid holiday to a destination of his choice after his retirement from the game. After years of service for the Reds, Western Force and Wallabies, he deserves it!

Mourad Boudjellal
- The Toulon boss can do with a muzzle to put over his mouth when he wants to criticise referees.

Schalk Burger
- Body armour, so he can try see out at least 10 minutes of 2013 on the rugby pitch.

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Clermont Auvergne vs MontpellierClermont Auvergne vs Montpellier Preview
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Griquas vs Cheetahs15:00
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Counties Manukau vs Hawkes Bay14:35
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Taranaki vs Bay Of Plenty14:35
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Manawatu vs Bay Of Plenty19:35
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Otago vs Canterbury19:35
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ITM Cup
Thursday , August 28
Canterbury 48 - 3 NorthlandCanterbury vs Northland Report
Wednesday, August 27
Waikato 17 - 46 TaranakiWaikato vs Taranaki Report
Sunday , August 24
Manawatu 7 - 35 AucklandManawatu vs Auckland Report
Bay Of Plenty 27 - 56 TasmanBay Of Plenty vs Tasman Report
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Saturday , August 23
New Zealand 51 - 20 AustraliaNew Zealand vs Australia Report
Argentina 31 - 33 South AfricaArgentina vs South Africa Report
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Brive 6 - 21 Clermont AuvergneBrive vs Clermont Auvergne Report
Bayonne 38 - 12 Oyonnax
Bordeaux-Begles 30 - 21 Racing Metro Paris
Stade Francais 23 - 20 Lyon
Toulon 60 - 19 La Rochelle
Montpellier 20 - 17 GrenobleMontpellier vs Grenoble Report
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Currie Cup
Blue Bulls 30 - 25 Eastern Province KingsBlue Bulls vs Eastern Province Kings Report
Western Province 27 - 14 LionsWestern Province vs Lions Report
Sharks 19 - 16 CheetahsSharks vs Cheetahs Report
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ITM Cup
Northland 35 - 5 WellingtonNorthland vs Wellington Report
Counties Manukau 29 - 25 OtagoCounties Manukau vs Otago Report
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Friday , August 22
Toulouse 35 - 6 CastresToulouse vs Castres Report
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Pumas 33 - 15 GriquasPumas vs Griquas Report
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ITM Cup
Waikato 27 - 58 CanterburyWaikato vs Canterbury Report
Hawkes Bay 29 - 26 TaranakiHawkes Bay vs Taranaki Report
Thursday , August 21
North Harbour 21 - 25 Southland
Sunday , August 17
Tasman 35 - 15 Hawkes BayTasman vs Hawkes Bay Report
Northland 23 - 28 Manawatu
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Saturday , August 16
Australia 12 - 12 New ZealandAustralia vs New Zealand Report
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