Planet Rugby

Gifts under Planet Rugby's tree

25th December 2012 06:54

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No you shouldn't have! Merry Christmas everyone...

We took it upon ourselves to send Santa a note to get some gifts for the rugby personalities who hit the headlines in 2012.

Remember now, this is tongue in cheek, so don't take it too seriously. Merry Christmas!

Heyneke Meyer
- A shatterproof walkie talkie. The Springbok coach has smashed quite a few of these communication devices while trying to issue instructions to his troops in 2012.

Richie McCaw
- King Richie can do with a crown after achieving some significant milestones in 2012. There's even a debate raging in some quarters on whether he is the greatest rugby player ever. Enough said.

Israel Folau
- A DVD on the intricacies of the ruck and maul for the new Waratahs recruit. Folau will start his first season of professional rugby union in 2013 after making a name for himself in the NRL and AFL.

Pat Lambie
- A fake ID

Quade Cooper
- The Reds and Wallabies fly-half deserves some intestinal fortitude as he prepares for his first boxing fight in February.

Southern Kings
- A calculator will be of great help for the newest team in the Super Rugby competition. It seems that the Port Elizabeth-based outfit is going to need that because their officials have already signed four foreign players when the South African Rugby Union only allows two per squad. They could also use it as some of their opponents are set to notch some cricket scores against them.

Andrew Hore an Dean Greyling
- An all-expenses paid visit to anger-management classes for the All Blacks and Springboks front-rowers.

Bryan Habana
- Free French lessons as it appears that the Bok speedster is heading to Toulon at some stage in 2013.

IRB Player of the Year selection committee
- A pair of binoculars will be the ideal gift for this panel, to help them pick a shortlist of the game's best players!

Nick Mallett
- A job as a head coach as his rugby knowledge is currently going to waste as a television analyst.

Robbie Deans
- After a year where he hardly ever fielded his strongest XV, an injury-free Wallabies side for next year's series against the British and Irish Lions.

Chris Robshaw
- A DVD on decision-making in tense situations for the England skipper after his brain implosions against the Wallabies and Springboks.

The British and Irish Lions
- A DVD of the 1997 tour to South Africa, a reminder of the last time the Lions won a series could prove inspirational for the famous touring team.

Keven Mealamu
- An endless supply of over-the-counter sports cream to massage into his calf muscles which has been troubling him throughout 2012.

Nathan Sharpe
- An all expenses paid holiday to a destination of his choice after his retirement from the game. After years of service for the Reds, Western Force and Wallabies, he deserves it!

Mourad Boudjellal
- The Toulon boss can do with a muzzle to put over his mouth when he wants to criticise referees.

Schalk Burger
- Body armour, so he can try see out at least 10 minutes of 2013 on the rugby pitch.

Forthcoming Fixtures
FixtureDetails
All times are local
Heineken Cup
Saturday , April 26
Saracens vs Clermont Auvergne15:40
Sunday , April 27
Toulon vs Munster15:30
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RaboDirect PRO12
Saturday , April 26
Glasgow vs Edinburgh19:05
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Amlin Challenge Cup
Friday , April 25
Northampton vs Harlequins20:00
Sunday , April 27
Wasps vs Bath13:00
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Super Rugby
Friday , April 25
Blues vs Waratahs17:35
Brumbies vs Chiefs17:40
Sharks vs Highlanders19:10
Saturday , April 26
Hurricanes vs Reds19:35
Western Force vs Bulls17:40
Cheetahs vs Stormers17:05
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Recent Results
FixtureDetails
All times are local
Aviva Premiership
Sunday , April 20
Northampton 36 - 21 London IrishNorthampton vs London Irish Report
Newcastle 18 - 23 SaracensNewcastle vs Saracens Report
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RaboDirect PRO12
Cardiff Blues 17 - 13 ScarletsCardiff Blues vs Scarlets Report
Newport Gwent D'gons 10 - 20 Ospreys
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Aviva Premiership
Saturday , April 19
Bath 32 - 20 WorcesterBath vs Worcester Report
Exeter 12 - 55 SaleExeter vs Sale Report
Wasps 38 - 30 GloucesterWasps vs Gloucester Report
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RaboDirect PRO12
Zebre 26 - 13 EdinburghZebre vs Edinburgh Report
Connacht 23 - 32 MunsterConnacht vs Munster Report
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Top 14
Oyonnax 19 - 19 ToulouseOyonnax vs Toulouse Report
Biarritz 19 - 13 Brive
Perpignan 31 - 46 ToulonPerpignan vs Toulon Report
Racing Metro Paris 22 - 6 Clermont AuvergneRacing Metro Paris vs Clermont Auvergne Report
Stade Francais 37 - 23 Bordeaux-Begles
Grenoble 21 - 21 Bayonne
More Top 14 results
Super Rugby
Chiefs 17 - 18 CrusadersChiefs vs Crusaders Report
Sharks 19 - 8 CheetahsSharks vs Cheetahs Report
Waratahs 19 - 12 BullsWaratahs vs Bulls Report
Stormers 18 - 3 LionsStormers vs Lions Report
More Super Rugby results
Aviva Premiership
Friday , April 18
Harlequins 24 - 20 LeicesterHarlequins vs Leicester Report
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RaboDirect PRO12
Leinster 62 - 7 Benetton TrevisoLeinster vs Benetton Treviso Report
Glasgow 27 - 9 UlsterGlasgow vs Ulster Report
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Top 14
Castres 22 - 15 MontpellierCastres vs Montpellier Report
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Super Rugby
Hurricanes 39 - 20 BluesHurricanes vs Blues Report
Melbourne Rebels 22 - 16 Western Force
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Aviva Premiership Table
PosTeamPPts
1Saracens2080
2Northampton2071
3Bath2064
4Leicester Tigers2064
5Harlequins2058