Planet Rugby

Gifts under Planet Rugby's tree

25th December 2012 06:54

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No you shouldn't have! Merry Christmas everyone...

We took it upon ourselves to send Santa a note to get some gifts for the rugby personalities who hit the headlines in 2012.

Remember now, this is tongue in cheek, so don't take it too seriously. Merry Christmas!

Heyneke Meyer
- A shatterproof walkie talkie. The Springbok coach has smashed quite a few of these communication devices while trying to issue instructions to his troops in 2012.

Richie McCaw
- King Richie can do with a crown after achieving some significant milestones in 2012. There's even a debate raging in some quarters on whether he is the greatest rugby player ever. Enough said.

Israel Folau
- A DVD on the intricacies of the ruck and maul for the new Waratahs recruit. Folau will start his first season of professional rugby union in 2013 after making a name for himself in the NRL and AFL.

Pat Lambie
- A fake ID

Quade Cooper
- The Reds and Wallabies fly-half deserves some intestinal fortitude as he prepares for his first boxing fight in February.

Southern Kings
- A calculator will be of great help for the newest team in the Super Rugby competition. It seems that the Port Elizabeth-based outfit is going to need that because their officials have already signed four foreign players when the South African Rugby Union only allows two per squad. They could also use it as some of their opponents are set to notch some cricket scores against them.

Andrew Hore an Dean Greyling
- An all-expenses paid visit to anger-management classes for the All Blacks and Springboks front-rowers.

Bryan Habana
- Free French lessons as it appears that the Bok speedster is heading to Toulon at some stage in 2013.

IRB Player of the Year selection committee
- A pair of binoculars will be the ideal gift for this panel, to help them pick a shortlist of the game's best players!

Nick Mallett
- A job as a head coach as his rugby knowledge is currently going to waste as a television analyst.

Robbie Deans
- After a year where he hardly ever fielded his strongest XV, an injury-free Wallabies side for next year's series against the British and Irish Lions.

Chris Robshaw
- A DVD on decision-making in tense situations for the England skipper after his brain implosions against the Wallabies and Springboks.

The British and Irish Lions
- A DVD of the 1997 tour to South Africa, a reminder of the last time the Lions won a series could prove inspirational for the famous touring team.

Keven Mealamu
- An endless supply of over-the-counter sports cream to massage into his calf muscles which has been troubling him throughout 2012.

Nathan Sharpe
- An all expenses paid holiday to a destination of his choice after his retirement from the game. After years of service for the Reds, Western Force and Wallabies, he deserves it!

Mourad Boudjellal
- The Toulon boss can do with a muzzle to put over his mouth when he wants to criticise referees.

Schalk Burger
- Body armour, so he can try see out at least 10 minutes of 2013 on the rugby pitch.

Forthcoming Fixtures
FixtureDetails
All times are local
Aviva Premiership
Friday , October 3
Bath vs Saracens19:45
Saturday , October 4
London Irish vs Northampton15:00
Harlequins vs London Welsh15:00
Gloucester vs Leicester15:15
Sunday , October 5
Sale vs Wasps14:00
Newcastle vs Exeter15:00
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Rugby Championship
Saturday , October 4
South Africa vs New Zealand16:05
Argentina vs Australia23:40
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Guinness PRO12
Friday , October 3
Connacht vs Cardiff Blues19:35
Ulster vs Edinburgh19:35
Zebre vs Ospreys19:35
Saturday , October 4
Leinster vs Munster18:30
Sunday , October 5
Benetton Treviso vs Glasgow14:00
Scarlets vs Newport Gwent D'gons16:00
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Top 14
Friday , October 3
Oyonnax vs Toulon20:45
Saturday , October 4
Bordeaux-Begles vs Clermont Auvergne14:45
Racing Metro Paris vs Brive18:30
Bayonne vs Montpellier18:30
La Rochelle vs Lyon18:30
Castres vs Grenoble18:30
Toulouse vs Stade Francais20:45
More Top 14 fixtures
Currie Cup
Friday , October 3
Pumas vs Blue Bulls15:00
Sharks vs Lions19:10
Saturday , October 4
Cheetahs vs Western Province14:00
Griquas vs Eastern Province Kings15:00
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Recent Results
FixtureDetails
All times are local
Aviva Premiership
Sunday , September 28
Wasps 35 - 18 NewcastleWasps vs Newcastle Report
Exeter 36 - 13 HarlequinsExeter vs Harlequins Report
More Aviva Premiership results
Guinness PRO12
Newport Gwent D'gons 33 - 15 Benetton TrevisoNewport Gwent D
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ITM Cup
Tasman 32 - 24 OtagoTasman vs Otago Report
Canterbury 26 - 28 SouthlandCanterbury vs Southland Report
More ITM Cup results
Aviva Premiership
Saturday , September 27
Leicester 19 - 22 London IrishLeicester vs London Irish Report
Saracens 40 - 19 Sale SharksSaracens vs Sale Sharks Report
Northampton 31 - 24 BathNorthampton vs Bath Report
More Aviva Premiership results
Rugby Championship
South Africa 28 - 10 AustraliaSouth Africa vs Australia Report
Argentina 13 - 34 New ZealandArgentina vs New Zealand Report
More Rugby Championship results
Guinness PRO12
Zebre 13 - 6 UlsterZebre vs Ulster Report
Munster 14 - 19 OspreysMunster vs Ospreys Report
More Guinness PRO12 results
Top 14
Toulon 40 - 17 MontpellierToulon vs Montpellier Report
Grenoble 27 - 25 Racing Metro ParisGrenoble vs Racing Metro Paris Report
Brive 34 - 24 Bordeaux-Begles
Oyonnax 8 - 19 Clermont Auvergne
Stade Francais 43 - 10 La Rochelle
Lyon 28 - 18 Castres
More Top 14 results
Currie Cup
Sharks 53 - 24 Eastern Province KingsSharks vs Eastern Province Kings Report
Griquas 8 - 46 LionsGriquas vs Lions Report
More Currie Cup results
ITM Cup
Waikato 20 - 22 ManawatuWaikato vs Manawatu Report
North Harbour 28 - 25 Hawkes Bay
Counties Manukau 55 - 7 WellingtonCounties Manukau vs Wellington Report
More ITM Cup results
Aviva Premiership
Friday , September 26
London Welsh 10 - 46 GloucesterLondon Welsh vs Gloucester Report
More Aviva Premiership results
Guinness PRO12
Leinster 37 - 23 Cardiff BluesLeinster vs Cardiff Blues Report
More Guinness PRO12 results
Aviva Premiership Table
PosTeamPPts
1Saracens418
2Northampton416
3Bath415
4Exeter414
5Wasps411