Planet Rugby

Gifts under Planet Rugby's tree

25th December 2012 06:54

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No you shouldn't have! Merry Christmas everyone...

We took it upon ourselves to send Santa a note to get some gifts for the rugby personalities who hit the headlines in 2012.

Remember now, this is tongue in cheek, so don't take it too seriously. Merry Christmas!

Heyneke Meyer
- A shatterproof walkie talkie. The Springbok coach has smashed quite a few of these communication devices while trying to issue instructions to his troops in 2012.

Richie McCaw
- King Richie can do with a crown after achieving some significant milestones in 2012. There's even a debate raging in some quarters on whether he is the greatest rugby player ever. Enough said.

Israel Folau
- A DVD on the intricacies of the ruck and maul for the new Waratahs recruit. Folau will start his first season of professional rugby union in 2013 after making a name for himself in the NRL and AFL.

Pat Lambie
- A fake ID

Quade Cooper
- The Reds and Wallabies fly-half deserves some intestinal fortitude as he prepares for his first boxing fight in February.

Southern Kings
- A calculator will be of great help for the newest team in the Super Rugby competition. It seems that the Port Elizabeth-based outfit is going to need that because their officials have already signed four foreign players when the South African Rugby Union only allows two per squad. They could also use it as some of their opponents are set to notch some cricket scores against them.

Andrew Hore an Dean Greyling
- An all-expenses paid visit to anger-management classes for the All Blacks and Springboks front-rowers.

Bryan Habana
- Free French lessons as it appears that the Bok speedster is heading to Toulon at some stage in 2013.

IRB Player of the Year selection committee
- A pair of binoculars will be the ideal gift for this panel, to help them pick a shortlist of the game's best players!

Nick Mallett
- A job as a head coach as his rugby knowledge is currently going to waste as a television analyst.

Robbie Deans
- After a year where he hardly ever fielded his strongest XV, an injury-free Wallabies side for next year's series against the British and Irish Lions.

Chris Robshaw
- A DVD on decision-making in tense situations for the England skipper after his brain implosions against the Wallabies and Springboks.

The British and Irish Lions
- A DVD of the 1997 tour to South Africa, a reminder of the last time the Lions won a series could prove inspirational for the famous touring team.

Keven Mealamu
- An endless supply of over-the-counter sports cream to massage into his calf muscles which has been troubling him throughout 2012.

Nathan Sharpe
- An all expenses paid holiday to a destination of his choice after his retirement from the game. After years of service for the Reds, Western Force and Wallabies, he deserves it!

Mourad Boudjellal
- The Toulon boss can do with a muzzle to put over his mouth when he wants to criticise referees.

Schalk Burger
- Body armour, so he can try see out at least 10 minutes of 2013 on the rugby pitch.

Forthcoming Fixtures
FixtureDetails
All times are local
Aviva Premiership
Friday , November 28
Bath vs Harlequins19:45
Saturday , November 29
Leicester Tigers vs Wasps15:00
Exeter vs Saracens16:30
Sunday , November 30
London Irish vs Gloucester13:00
London Welsh vs Northampton14:30
Newcastle Falcons vs Sale Sharks15:15
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International Match
Saturday , November 29
Wales vs South Africa14:30
England vs Australia14:30
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Guinness PRO12
Friday , November 28
Munster vs Ulster19:35
Cardiff Blues vs Treviso19:35
Saturday , November 29
Zebre vs Edinburgh15:00
Leinster vs Ospreys17:15
Connacht vs Scarlets19:30
Sunday , November 30
Glasgow Warriors vs Dragons16:00
More Guinness PRO12 fixtures
Top 14
Saturday , November 29
Toulon vs Clermont Auvergne14:45
Oyonnax vs Bordeaux-Begles18:30
Lyon vs Montpellier18:30
La Rochelle vs Bayonne18:30
Castres vs Racing Metro Paris18:30
Toulouse vs Grenoble20:45
Sunday , November 30
Stade Francais vs Brive18:00
More Top 14 fixtures
Recent Results
FixtureDetails
All times are local
Aviva Premiership
Sunday , November 23
Saracens 24 - 31 NorthamptonSaracens vs Northampton Report
London Welsh 5 - 26 Leicester TigersLondon Welsh vs Leicester Tigers Report
More Aviva Premiership results
International Match
Georgia 35 - 24 JapanGeorgia vs Japan Report
More International Match results
Guinness PRO12
Treviso 24 - 24 LeinsterTreviso vs Leinster Report
Edinburgh 28 - 13 Cardiff BluesEdinburgh vs Cardiff Blues Report
More Guinness PRO12 results
Aviva Premiership
Saturday , November 22
London Irish 23 - 33 BathLondon Irish vs Bath Report
Exeter 31 - 15 WaspsExeter vs Wasps Report
More Aviva Premiership results
International Match
Italy 6 - 22 South AfricaItaly vs South Africa Report
England 28 - 9 SamoaEngland vs Samoa Report
France 13 - 18 ArgentinaFrance vs Argentina Report
Wales 16 - 34 New ZealandWales vs New Zealand Report
Scotland 37 - 12 TongaScotland vs Tonga Report
Ireland 26 - 23 AustraliaIreland vs Australia Report
Romania 18 - 9 CanadaRomania vs Canada Report
More International Match results
Aviva Premiership
Friday , November 21
Harlequins 12 - 16 Sale SharksHarlequins vs Sale Sharks Report
Newcastle Falcons 20 - 10 GloucesterNewcastle Falcons vs Gloucester Report
More Aviva Premiership results
International Match
Fiji 20 - 14 USAFiji vs USA Report
More International Match results
Guinness PRO12
Dragons 12 - 38 MunsterDragons vs Munster Report
Ulster 25 - 16 OspreysUlster vs Ospreys Report
Connacht 43 - 3 ZebreConnacht vs Zebre Report
Scarlets 19 - 9 Glasgow WarriorsScarlets vs Glasgow Warriors Report
More Guinness PRO12 results
Aviva Premiership
Sunday , November 16
Leicester Tigers 21 - 21 SaracensLeicester Tigers vs Saracens Report
Wasps 71 - 7 London WelshWasps vs London Welsh Report
More Aviva Premiership results
International Match
Ireland 49 - 7 GeorgiaIreland vs Georgia Report
More International Match results
Aviva Premiership
Saturday , November 15
Sale Sharks 36 - 8 London IrishSale Sharks vs London Irish Report
More Aviva Premiership results
Aviva Premiership Table
PosTeamPPts
1Northampton830
2Exeter828
3Bath828
4Saracens825
5Leicester Tigers821