Media foul-up ruins IRB surprise

Matt Goddard: ELV ambassador

The IRB has admitted that Tuesday's media reports regarding the latest round of ELV recommendations were leaked as part of an elaborate April 1 hoax, and that the likelihood is that all the ELVs, including many of the initially-rejected one such as allowing hands in the ruck, will be globally trialled from August 1 this year.

The reports on Tuesday suggested that many of the current ELVs being globally trialled would be abandoned after an IRB council meeting on May 13, with only a few retained.

But the admission of a media gatekeeping error by the game's governing body means that this will now almost certainly not be the case.

"We had wanted to get into the April 1 spirit, make a practical joke to lift people's spirits in what have become tough times for our game in the current economic climate," said President Leonard Basset.

"We wanted to tell everybody they were getting the old laws back, lull them into that false sense of security, then spring our surprise at midday and give the real story, which is that we will have a further and more extensive ELV trial later this year.

"We just failed to take into account the time differences. Initially, we wanted the joke to start in New Zealand, but of course, early April 1 in Auckland is still late March 31 in the UK, South Africa and USA, so we tried to stop the 'leak'.

"It proved too late. Now the story has broken in those countries on a more serious day and everybody is taking them seriously.

"I can only apologise on behalf of the IRB and set the matter straight as of now. But it would have been so funny had you really thought the ELVs were going to be abandoned! Can you imagine?"

So, in actual fact, there will be a further global trial of all the current ELVs from August 1. Additionally, several other ELVs will be implemented.

They are:

Sanctions - All offences, ranging from serious foul play to being caught swearing to oneself on the stadium big screen and television replay, shall be punished with a free-kick.

Tackle and ruck - Players on their feet may play the ball with their hands.

Tackle and ruck - Players on their hands may play the ball with their feet.

Tackle and ruck - Referees will be assisted by new technology in the stadium lights which will immediately shine onto the pitch those snazzy yellow lines they use in television replays, to help them determine the presence of a gate and offside line.

Line-out and throw - Incorrect throw (not straight) the sanction is that a cow will be wheeled onto the pitch backside first, whereupon the offending hooker will be presented with a banjo and asked to strike the cow firmly on its posterior. If successful, the hooker may attempt the throw again.

The news is sure to cause embarrassment not only to the IRB, but also to the Unions who issued press releases on March 31 iterating their delight at the 'decision' to abandon the ELVs.

Planet Rugby rang the offices of the RFU for comment but were told nobody knew where Rob Andrew was, or for that matter, what he does.

However, in one interesting development, IRB referees' Manager Brady O Prein revealed that as he had become such a loyal, to-the-letter-of-the-laws servant fo the ELVs, Matt Goddard was to be appointed ELV ambassador for New Zealand and would head up the new ELV appreciation and development panel there ahead of the 2011 Rugby World Cup.