Planet Rugby

Gifts under Planet Rugby's tree

25th December 2013 06:39

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Father Christmas Christmas cheerleaders

Merry Christmas!

With it being Christmas, we have decided to send Father Christmas a note requesting what we wish he would bring as presents for some rugby folk.

Remember now, this is tongue in cheek, so don't take it too seriously. Merry Christmas!

Ligue Nationale de Rugby - A "No U-turn sign:" would be the perfect gift for the French rugby bosses from Premiership Rugby CEO Mark McCafferty after the LNR backtracked on their agreement with the English clubs to form a breakaway Rugby Champions Cup.

Adam Jones - A big-money contract in the Top 14 after years of uncompromising service to Welsh rugby. He certainly deserves a big final payday.

Alex Corbisiero - Two knee replacements for the England and British and Irish Lions prop after he spent a large part of the season on the sidelines due to injury.

Sébastian Chabal - The Lyon veteran will be thrilled with a pair of boxing gloves. Chabal's knockout punch on Agen's Marc Giraud showed that he will be quite adept in a boxing ring.

Kieran Read - After winning just about every individual award up for grabs, a crown would be a perfect gift to confirm his status as the king of the world's rugby players in 2013.

Jonny Sexton - A kicking tee is surely what he wants after he missed a sitter of a penalty in Ireland's loss to New Zealand in Dublin earlier this year.

Cheslin Kolbe - A fake ID.

George Smith - Some migraine tablets for the legendary Wallabies flank who came off second best in an accidental head clash with Lions hooker Richard Hibbard which left him dazed and confused.

Millennium Stadium, Stade de France and Murrayfield - New pitches for these three northern hemisphere stadiums after their current ones were torn to shreds at scrums during this year's November Tests.

Romaine Poite - A white cane. He seemed to be visually impaired when he gave Bismarck du Plessis a yellow card in the Springboks' Test against the All Blacks earlier this year. This after Du Plessis executed a perfectly legal tackle on Dan Carter in which, according to Poite, he didn't use his arms.

George North - A fireman's uniform is in order for the British and Irish Lions flyer after his amazing fireman's lift when tackling Wallabies speedster Israel Folau during the Lions' victory in the second Test in Melbourne.

Eben Etzebeth - Free anger management lessons for the Stormers and Springbok enforcer who always seems to be getting into petty squabbles on the playing field.

Jannie du Plessis - Some tackle bags will be the perfect gift for the older of the Du Plessis brothers, whose tackling technique -or lack thereof - proved costly for the Springboks and Sharks in 2013. Nothing wrong with his scrummaging but he was like a turnstile on several occasions on defence.

Mike Phillips and James O'Connor - Some DVD's on how to behave, when drinking alcohol out in public, should do the trick for the Racing Metro scrum-half and London Irish utility back.

Richard Cockerill - A sock to put in his mouth for whenever things are not going Leicester's way. Cockerill has at various stages of the year had a go at referees, scrum laws, England and the Lions when things have gone pear-shaped for his beloved Tigers.

Brad Thorn - Free accommodation at a retirement village for the game's elder statesman. Veteran lock Thorn, who won the World Cup with New Zealand, is one of the Highlanders' stalwarts in Super Rugby. He turns 39 in 2014.

Compiled by David Skippers
@David_Skipster

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